Who sells the "The Great Wall Kicked My Butt" T-shirt?

The day started early with a 6am alarm to enable my prompt arrival at a nearish hostel where my tour to the Great Wall was meeting. Around 8am we piled on a tour bus already packed with Western tourists from other hotels and hostels. It's always fun being the last one on and taking the seat next to someone who *thinks* they have narrowly escaped 2-person seat occupancy. In this case it was a grumpy German with ear buds and legs too long to fit in his half of the seat. That's not to say he was particularly tall. No, my legs at 5'6" required diagonal positioning.

The ride to Jinshanling (the portion of the Wall we were to start our 10km trek to our destination, Simatai)was a 4 hours ride away. When we arrived at Jinshanling the two tour buses with our group were the only ones there. We started out as a pack, but quickly spread out as ability and stamina varied. As we started our very steep ascent to the Wall my only thought was that I really should have done the stair master more at the gym. Did I say more? Perhaps at all is more accurate.

I reached the top and the view was stunning and terrifying all at once. The Wall was so vast, winding up and down the mountainous countryside, and like nothing I had ever seen or...climbed.

I would climb to 13 towers some with upwards of 120 steps up and 120 down. The steps varied in size and in condition. Some parts were well maintained while others I feared would crumble under my feet.

Toward the beginning of my journey, I acquired a "friend" who wanted to sell me a souvenir book so badly that she walked 1/2 way to Sumatai with me. She was quite nice and spoke excellent Wall-related English. When asked questions or pushed past tidbits of information about the Wall, her vocabulary showed its holes. She lived outside Jinshanling and her family members were Mongolian farmers. It seemed that half of her village came to the Wall every day either to guide/guilt tourists into buying goods or sell cold waters and cokes to those tearing through their rations more quickly than expected. I found it very ironic that the very people the Wall was meant to keep out (the Mongolians) are now the ones saturating it with their commercial endeavors.

While the conversation at the half way point (the end of the road for my friend) was a bit painful -- I didn't want to buy the book, the other book, the T-shirt, the small purse or any of the other goods stowed away in her shoulder bag and she didn't want to just take the "tip" I was offering her -- I was glad to have the company and the direction on a few shortcuts here and there. After she left, finally accepting my small offering, of course I took the wrong route to a towner and ended up having to back track.

There were times on the 4 hour trek that I thought I was going to DIE. My thighs burned, my calves burned, my heart was racing, my lungs couldn't get enough air and I couldn't drink enough water to keep up with my sweat. There were times where I questioned if I'd rather be working. The answer was, of course "no," but the fact that this question entered my mind provides quite an accurate illustration of my state of mind.

I did make it along with a band of other travelers huffing and puffing. With one final ascent I came to the cement walkway that led back to the buses. Much to my delight, there were options for the route back. I could walk...more OR pay 35 RB (about $5) to ride the zip line down. The answer was simple.

I arrived home at 10 pm exhausted and terrified that I would be so sore that I couldn't use the squat toilets effectively.